Batcave ain't no place for no hero... (While reading listen to "The Heavy- Short Change Hero")
Everyone loves Batman, except me. I believe Batman represents the worst in American society, and with the following I plan on debunking the exalted hero worship towards the Dark Knight. I want everyone to see him as the infectious turd that he is, rotting our society from the inside out. So in the immortal words of the Joker...
Chapter 1: Bruce Cries at Knight
Bruce Wayne what a bitch. What a rich, spoiled, psychopathic, fascist bitch. Sure his parents died, 20 years ago! He was an only child who inherited a multi billion dollar fortune and I am suppose to feel sorry for him? If you can afford renovating a cave under your mansion you can afford a therapist for two decades and a hug from Alfred. Bruce, honestly has never known true struggle. Sure he spent a few year living amongst the "cowardice criminals" but that doesn't make him Kunta Fucking Kinte. Hell, just because I backpacked across France doesn't mean I'm European does it? I actually have only been to Canada, because I don't have my own private jet AND separate more expensive Bat-jet.
Chapter 2: A Symbol for Hypocrisy
Batman/Bruce Wayne has billions of dollars at his disposal and spends billions of that money to become a self aggrandizing symbol of justice to deal fear into fellow citizens with no other means out. Maybe the reason Gotham is so corrupt is because a few have a lot and a lot have very few. Sure he started the Wayne Foundation but in most cases it seems like its more for Bruce Wayne's public image then it is for any real relief. How about Instead of pumping all of that money and resources into Bat planes, Bat-a-rangs and tactical urban assault body armor he spends it on the following:
1. Open that massive check book of his to just buy off the corruption in his favor. Then build a few more of schools. Education is usually the cure to an social toxic environment.
2. Use those world renowned martial arts skills to open up a dojo or boxing gym to teach Gotham's slum youth to fend for themselves.
3. Maybe use that obsessive work ethic and public personae to run for office and clean up the city from the inside out.
4. And then why not prove he truly is the worlds greatest detective by solving the complex puzzle that is systemic poverty which leads to his rogues gallery even having power in the first place.
Chapter 3: Bat-Racist
Batman is a racist. Flat out, he is a full blown racist. He adopted the black of night but not once did he bother adopting a brown child. Across the DC multiverse Gotham is a factious city representing the worst of NYC and Chicago and the only kids this white privileged bigot has pulled from the gutters are 7 white children? Hell, the first one was a traveling performer with a high paying career. He had extended family he traveled with for a least a decade but Bruce Wayne decided it would be better to swoop in with his bags of money and train him to become a weapon. What a douche. Why hasn't he simply rescued a inner city kid from his dirt life. Stealing purses just to stay out of the gutter one more night because his dad beats him and his mother was killed by a stray bullet from Two Face's gun, meant for the "Capped Crusader".
Chapter 4: Gotham Nazi
Batman is a fascist. His solution to every problem is two fold: throw money at the problem, then throw your fists against anyone who disagrees. (Batman vs Superman). No problems are to big for Batman's fascist fists! "I only have one rule" which Batman breaks anytime he feels the compulsive need to pretend he is a bat. I am sure his catch and realize program at Black Gate and Arkham is a huge relief to the victims of the Joker. I also assume that releasing million of feral bats into a major metropolitan city has NEVER resulted in an outbreak of rabbis. Most of the villains are not truly evil men. Penguins thugs and The Riddlers henchmen are like any other criminal in our world. Disenfranchised citizens, left behind, with no other options to make rent. Do you think they are there out of love for these clearly mentally ill maniacs. No! Other than Harley Quinn who really wants to hang out with the Joker, not even Lex Luther is comfortable around him. So you think "Long Shore men Bob" woke up one day and said "Hey, a mass murdering, chemically disfigured, manic Clown sound like a swell man to be my boss." No!
Chapter 5: Gotham's Worst Enemy
Batman's is what he swear he is protecting Gotham from, a villain. The worst villian. A super villain. His Rogues Gallery is arguably full of people who aren't so much evil as they are misunderstood. Are they good? Hell no. But mental ill? For damn sure. However Gotham's Knight is every single one of his enemies rolled into one.
Ex: A) The Joker- flamboyant psychopath terrorizing fellow citizens for his own personal convictions.
Ex: B) The Penguin- a rich fat cat who carelessly spends money in selfish destructive ways.
Ex: C) Two Face- a man with two egos that are distinct in character but unclear on which one is truly in control.
Ex: D) Poison Ivy- a fanatical idealist who's goals are more important than dialog or compromise.
Ex: E) The Riddler- a true genius who's elitist attitude turns his intelligence into moral superiority.
(Could go on but won't)
Chapter 6: A Real Hero
Who is the true hero of Gotham? Catwoman. She robs from the wealthy and gives to the impoverished. She deals in a fair moral spectrum. To those who are true tyrants, they get the whip and claws. And to those heading down the wrong path she offers a warning and helping hand. She has true compassion for those living a day to day struggle, because she herself, is one of those struggling. But she gives us hope, she is a symbol. A symbol of power and grace. The Catwoman says to us "Life may beat you into a corner but if you claw and scratch you can make it to the top. If you never stop fighting back you will see that you have many lives to live. So just hang in there."
Chapter 7: Same Bat Time Same Bat Crap
The true reason I hate him is because he represents the dark truth about America itself which is; that with all of our talent, power, wealth, and good intentions we have become the bad guy. In this day and age our heroes need to be something we can truly look to for inspiration. The Batman offers only a harsh reflection into our world. A reflection that says maybe its not the best system when one man can have all the resources to decide the fate of an entire city. Can actually decide that dressing up as a winged mammal is more important than a great percentage of us living in true fear. Fear, not from a Penguin or a Joker but from starvation. Eviction. Disease. Debt. Death. Or what the rest of us call, "every day life".
Its not about money. Its about sending a message.